2019 Winners: Cave Ballad Salon

sold out

Do you think I do    dangerous things?
I live my life    the best I can.
The Lord’s called me to    witness His works
And just call me    “An Adventurous Man”.

You’ll find me home on    both peaks and caves,
Trails, not roads    lead to my land.
My footsteps laid    in both sun and rain
And just call me    “An Adventurous Man”.

A new-born fawn,   a flower unfolds
Each one speaks as     no preacher can.
Beyond beauty,    is the hand of God,
And just call me   “ An Adventurous Man”.

Are you afraid     in a mountain storm,
An untamed life you    can’t understand?
Then you’ve not lived   your days like mine,
And just call me   “An Adventurous Man”.

I’ll set my foot    where no one goes
And plant my staff    in wilder land,
Descend a rope   to a black abyss,
And just call me   “An Adventurous Man”.

Air movement I now perceive,  a whisper that laps ‘round my mind,
I can’t touch, nor can I see,  a sense I’d have if I were blind.
It hastens my steps, so I guess,  an urge to go I’ll confess.
Weary, I crawl resigned,  soon I‘ll leave this far behind.

Wait! There’s a scent in the air,  wafts through the dark to my nose,
Another sense come alive,  a need I have now exposed.
Have I been in the dark too long,  explorer’s joy gone wrong?
Speed and motion now have slowed,  time to leave, get out I suppose.

Warm and humid is the air,  exciting senses too long deprived.
Smell and color which I’ve missed, sensations lost are now revived.
Pass the bend, a few feet more,  cold & bruises ignored,
And will the night sky surprise?  I am out, once more I survived.

Under warm summer stars,  I lie, immobilized,
Absorbing sounds long unheard, tired, yet never more alive.
Clothes and body, torn and trashed, muscles sore and fingers smashed,
I’ll return, I’ve been baptized, to heed the only call I recognize

Coffee Shuffle

2016 NSS Cave Ballads.

sold out

Raised in a Lion's Den

available, duo with Bill Ackerbauer

All Night Long (Live)

Duo w/Bill Ackerbauer (we lost weight)

An Adventurous Man

When coffee’s cold, it’s no good you see,
Gotta be hot or it’s no good for me.
It’s gotta be brown  for me to keep it ‘round,
With a drip of honey, stirred ‘round and ‘round.

    Gal o’ my dreams, gal o’ my dreams,
    Let’s make us some coffee, I wanna see the steam.
    Fill up the pot, pour it till that cup overflow,
    So baby, get ready, let’s sip it slow.

Things is hard now, this I know,
Things is hard,  and I’m a-looking and a-searching
For your back yard. I wanna come with you;
Don’t fool with me, you a-comin’ too?

Go open up  your oven hatch,
Your buns are brown,  and I like ‘em like that.
Big and tall,  round and firm and fully packed,
Stick ‘em in my mouth, melt down that fat.

Some like it weak,  some like it strong,
Use enough cream, you can’t go wrong.
Fit up that pot,  drink it till the morning come,
I want you there, next time I load my gun.

The Bard Rocks Featured  in Collaborative CD's

Best Cave Ballads 2013-2017

(available from the National Speleological Society, Huntsville, Ala.)

Monkeyback Blues

Got no money, monkey’s on my back, (2X)
My friends don’t know me, dealer’s on my track.

I lost my gal, but I don’t mind. (2X)
You got the monkey, you leave it all behind.

Monkey’s on me, ev’rywhere I go; (2X)
It weighs you down and brings you so low.

Nothing’s right, the Devil hates me, too, (2X)
Monkey grabs your neck and he climbs up on you.

I feel my life’s about to end (2X)
Stay ‘way from that monkey, is my advice, my friend.

The Flying Song Garden


Other Media-These are projects in which The Bard played a part instead of hogging the entire show.

On Caves & Cameras  - published by and available from the National Speleological Society  (www.caves.org > bookstore) How to take winning photos in caves.

Inspired: A Creative Writing Anthology, Jay Towne & Joan Caska, Eds. Foothills Arts Council. A slender volume.

Best Cave Ballads - 2013-17 - available from the National Speleological Society (caves.org)   See also (below) 2016 NSS Cave Ballads, and 2019 Winners: Cave Ballad Salon. Generally, there is one such CD produced each year and The Bard typically is fetured on one of the cuts. Contact  us for the latest. ther are often a couple left unsold which can be made available.

The Bentwood Rockers: All Night Long - live performance compendium  by the duo, 2012-2013. See below.

The Bentwood Rockers: Raised in a Lion's Den.  Still available, 18 cut studio CD. See below.

The Flying Song Garden, Dove & Olive Branch Music, 2014, see below.

"Sprakers Artist Publishes Novel" (Courier Standard Enterprise, Feb. 12-18, 2021, pp.1-3)

Roland Vinyard,

"The Bard Rocks"

Them Cave Poems

Them Cave Crawlers
How ‘bout them Cave Crawlers, ain’t they great?
Crawling ev’ry cave ain’t got a gate.
Crawling them wet, crawling them dry,
While they friends jest wonder why.
     Lookit them Cave Crawlers, in thet mud,
     Tain’t no reason for it, it’s in they blood.
     Them creepy deep Cave Crawlers, ain’t got no sense,
     Crawl caves all day, then crawl into tents.
How to be a Cave Crawler? Here’s how to do it,
Find a cave got no gate , then crawl in to it.

Them Pit Plungers
How ‘bout them Pit Plungers, ain’t they fools?
Plunging them pits, ‘n’ think they’s cool.
Plunging them short, plunging them long,
A dope on a rope, right where they belong.
     Lookit them Pit Plungers, they just weird,
     Getting they rack in they beard.
     Them nude-ass Pit Plungers, them maniacs,
     A fool with his tool caught in his rack.
How to be a Pit Plunger, I’ll tell you how to do it:
Throw a rope down a hole, then plunge in to it.

Them Cave Divers
How ‘bout them Cave Divers, I gotta hunch,
No light, no air, they the worst of the bunch.
Skinny-dipping in passages thet got no air
Frosty-assed, holding breath, while they bare.
     Them wetsuited Cave Divers, they’s right warm,
     With SCUBA tanks strapped to they arm.
     Them scooter-hooting Cave Divers, faster ‘n’ swimmin’,
     Gotta battery between their legs insted of some wimmin.
Be a safe Caver Diver? Here’s what I said
Go home, cut the lights, and crawl into bed.